Getting Even
by pettygrew
Summary: Vala seeks revenge. Completed. This started out as a 1page story, but a few people asked me why Vala was looking at a house. Thus, the reason for chapters 2 and 3. I hope you like the conclusion. Thanks to Thel for being there for me.
1. Chapter 1

'Getting Even'

Author: pettygrew

Email: G

Category: Humor

Summary: Vala seeks revenge.

Setting: Season 9, before Beachhead

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-1 Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fan fiction is meant solely for entertainment purposes. No money exchanged hands.

Special thanks to Thel for beta and for being such a wonderful friend. Any errors are mine.

Archive: Anyone wishing to archive please ask.

Copyrighted 2006 pettygrew

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daniel awoke, gasping from a disturbing dream. He dreamt Vala was undressing him. Worse yet, he was enjoying the whole process. Slowly, she removed each of his garments as he lay on his bed. All the while, she smiled that sensual smile of hers as she looked down on him. Her voice was soothing, and her soft hands caressing as they moved nimbly across his body. Yet, inside he kept thinking this was all wrong. As she raised his arms to remove his shirt, her long dark hair tickled his face. But, it was the sound of a click...click that woke him to reality.

"What the hell?" he squinted as he slowly surveyed his surroundings. Lace curtains on the windows, oil paintings on the walls, and two dressers decorated the room instead of his personal artifacts. It was a bedroom alright, but not his. And, if he wasn't mistaken, the room was beginning to feel a little chilly. The dream was no dream.

As panic began to rise up within, Daniel slowly looked down at his body afraid of what he would see. Unfortunately, his fears were confirmed. He was lying naked on a bed with silk white sheets. A single top sheet covered him from the waist down. Although he could move his legs freely, his arms were immobile, resting awkwardly above his head. Bending his head back as far as he could, he saw that his wrists were handcuffed to the bar of a brass head board. A few tentative tugs proved he was securely bound.

"Vala," he growled.

At the mention of her name, Vala came walking out from the bathroom located to the left of the bed. She was fully clothed in a black knit sweater and black jeans drying her hands with a hand towel.

"Hello Daniel, did you enjoy your nap?"

"Vala, what the hell do you think you're doing? Where are we? How did I get here?"

"It's nice to see you too," she smiled like a Cheshire cat as she sat next to him on the bed. "It's really incredible what one can do with a zat gun and an Asgard transporter."

"This is kidnapping."

"No Daniel, this is getting even. Now that the bracelets' effects are beginning to wear off, I won't be around much longer. So, I wanted to leave you something to remember me by."

"What's wrong with a plant?" he shot back.

"Oh, Daniel," she sighed with pity in her voice. "Ever since I arrived on Earth, you have done nothing but criticized me. I have tried to help your people whenever I can, and all I ask in return from you is that you show me a little respect."

"Respect?" he said angrily. "Respect? How can I respect you when you do something like this?" He rattled the cuffs to make his point.

"Of all of the creatures I've met in this galaxy," she tilted her head to look him in the eyes. "You are the most arrogant..."

"Arrogant?"

"Rude..."

"Rude?"

"Self-serving individual I've ever met."

This time, Daniel had no reply when the look in her eyes turned sincere.

"In some ways, you remind me of me," her smile turned downward briefly as she opened up her feelings. "Maybe that's why I like you so much," she caressed the back of her hand along his face. "Having good looks doesn't hurt either." No sooner said, she straightened her shoulders and once again her voice grew strong, "I don't like you treating me as if I don't exist. I see your expressions. I embarrass you. "

"It's hard to take you seriously when everything you say has sexual innuendo," he shifted a bit. "Is it getting cold in here?"

"I have the windows open," she answered. "You'd be surprised at how much we do is sex-related. If people had more sex, there'd be less fighting."

"Make love not war."

"Practice what you preach," she nodded in agreement. "At least if you had more sex Daniel, you wouldn't be so uptight."

His anger returned. "Sex? Is that what all of this is about? Didn't we have this discussion before?"

"Don't fool yourself, Dr. Jackson. As I just proved to you, I could have taken you any time I wanted to," she gave him a cocky smile. "No, this is payback. Good-bye, Daniel." Looking over her wide-eyed hapless victim one more time, she sighed, "I do like you better tied up." With that Vala rose from the bed and walked to the bedroom door.

"W-W-Wait a minute. You can't just leave me here. At least remove the handcuffs."

"Oh dear," she feigned, "I appear to have lost the key. Maybe, one of those nice boys from the base can come over and remove them? That Sergeant Siler with the big wrench seems capable."

"N-N-N-No. Vala, please don't do this," he begged with a boyish smile. He batted his eyes a few times hoping it would persuade her.

Vala walked back to his side, took the hand towel, and placed it in his mouth. All she could hear was a muffled "Vala" as she walked out the door.

With a sense of self-satisfaction, Vala smiled as she walked out of the house. Closing the front door, she walked past the 'For Sale' sign down to a car parked in the front. A young woman with a binder stood along side the car.

"Well, Ms. Mal Doran, what did you think of the house? I realize it's a little isolated."

"It's perfect," she said as she looked back at the building. "Does the furniture come with it?"

Confused, the woman repeated, "Um, the furniture? Um, I'm sure we can come to some agreement if you're interested in purchasing with the furniture."

Vala's smile grew wider. "I love that bed."


	2. Chapter 2

"Let me check with the office," the real estate agent pulled out her cell phone. "The owner is being transferred, so he's anxious to sell. Is it just the bed you want or all the furniture?"

Looking at her watch, Vala appeared anxious. "How long did you say this house will be open?"

The woman frowned in confusion. "The open house? It's all day." She pressed a button on her cell phone activating the automatic dialing. "If you're interested in buying the house, we can get the paper work started and...damn," she swore at her phone. "No signal. I'll have to use the phone inside."

"Oh, uh, no, don't," Vala stuttered as she made a wild grab at the agent's arm, but the woman was too quick for her.

"It's okay," the young woman called cheerily over her shoulder. "Anything for a sale," she added softly under her breath. "I won't be but a minute." Walking into the house, she headed straight for the living room. Vala cautiously poked her head into the foyer to ensure the area was safe before walking in.

"Have you decided on how you're going to finance?" asked the agent when she finally located the telephone.

"Look, the bed really isn't that important," Vala whispered as she walked into the room.

"Not a problem," the woman gushed. "Did you notice the sturdy railings and banister?" waving her hand in the direction of the stairs.

Vala gave a cunning half-smile.

A faint noise was heard from the back of the house. The agent froze with her face registering fear. "Did you hear that?" she whispered.

Lying, Vala whispered back "Hear what?"

"I think someone is in the house."

"Then, maybe we should leave?" Vala urged.

This time, the soft sound of metal rattling was heard.

"Hello? Is someone there?" called the agent.

A muffled voice responded. The agent moved slowly towards the back of the house. She followed the sound of rattling until she came to a closed bedroom door. Vala stepped between her and the door blocking her from entering.

"Trust me, you do not want to go in there," holding her hands up.

"Why not?"

A muffled cry of help came from the other side of the door.

"Clearly, someone's in there needing help," the young woman insisted as she reached pasted Vala for the door knob. Opening the door, she gasped, "Oh my god!"

Vala rolled her eyes and with a pout, she sighed, "Now, you've ruined everything."


	3. Chapter 3

"Arrom!"

Daniel just kept his head down focused on his writing. He knew once word got out there would be no end to the jokes. "Colonel Mitchell," he sighed drearily as he continued to write. "Come to gloat?"

With a wide smile on his face, Mitchell walked over to Daniel's desk and leaned over the archeologist. "I heard you and girlfriend got caught playing naked slave boy and evil temptress. Yeah, I would say that's something to gloat about."

Daniel dropped his pen and slowly leaned back in his chair. Squeezing his eyes shut as if in pain, he responded with restraint, "That's not what happened. Vala kidnapped me for her own perverse pleasure." The words were no sooner out of his mouth when he realized how that sounded. Beaming, Mitchell crossed his arms and waited to hear the details.

"She wanted to humiliate me as a way of getting even for ignoring her," his words raced out. "So, she posted an invitation on the announcement board for a game of geocaching."

"Geocaching?" Mitchell frowned. "That treasure hunting game?"

"She included coordinates to a house where she had me...you know." Daniel rolled his eyes and waved his hand for Mitchell to fill-in the rest.

"Don't tell me? You were the treasure?"

"Puts prize winning on a whole new level," Daniel mumbled.

"Whoa, she is one evil woman," Mitchell drawled out. "Remind me never to get on her bad side." Looking around the room, he asked, "Where's the evil wench now?"

"General Landry has her locked in the brig." Daniel adjusted his papers on his desk. "After this little antic and her behavior with Senator Fisher, he doesn't want Vala visible unless it's absolutely necessary."

"What about the where ye go, she follows?" Mitchell emphasized by walking two figures in the air.

"That won't be for much longer," Daniel said with some satisfaction. "The power of the bracelets is wearing off. We're able to stay separated for longer periods now."

"Well, that's good news," Cameron added as he leaned against the bookshelf. "So, how do you plan on getting revenge?

Narrowing his eyes, Daniel responded slowly with some contemplation, "I don't know. Revenge would mean sinking down to her level...and something tells me the more perverted it is, the more she'll enjoy it."

"We could show her home movies of my Aunt Emma. Now, that's perverted!"

Daniel winced. "Why don't we hold that plan in reserve?" he said humoring the man.

"What happened with the real estate agent?" Mitchell asked. "I'm sure she was pissed off."

"Yeah, well let's just say, I won't be relocating anywhere less than 100 miles from Colorado Springs within my life time," Daniel confirmed.

"That upset on not selling the house?"

"Oh, she sold it."

Mitchell was surprised. "She did?"

"Dr. Lam bought it."

"What!"

"At the same time the real estate agent found me, Dr. Lam showed up..."

"The game," Mitchell blurted out as it dawned on him.

"Actually, she came to view the house," Daniel corrected him. "I should be grateful she showed up when she did otherwise the agent would have had us arrested."

"Lucky you."

"Oh," Daniel added. "If Dr. Lam invites you to see the house, I might think twice about it."

"Why's that?"

"I heard her say it was the bed that sold her," Daniel smiled smugly.

A wily smile shone briefly on Cameron's face before he cleared his throat and changed to a more serious tone. "There has to be a way of releasing some of that sexual tension in Vala. I mean, what do guys do in that situation?"

"I don't think a cold shower will work with her," Daniel chewed his bottom lip.

"Well, you two could always...," Mitchell raised his eye brows and tilted his head.

"Don't even go there!" Daniel warned in disgust.

"I'm just saying..."

"No!"

"It's just a thought..."

"The woman is _insane_."

"Look," Mitchell shrugged. "I was only trying to help." Taking a wad of crumpled paper, he then tossed it into the waste basket.

Daniel's eyes grew wide as he sat up slowly. "I have an idea."

-------------------

Daniel passed the ball to Mitchell, the ball rebounded. Vala grabbed it, and Teal'c lifted her up to the hoop. She cheered as she dropped the ball through.

"Yah!"

Bumping bums with Teal'c in victory, she teased, "You boys aren't going to let a couple of aliens beat you at your own silly game are you?"

"Silly game isn't over yet," Daniel said breathlessly.

"That's my wing man," Cameron called encouragingly as he threw Daniel the ball.

Vala moved to a blocking position in front of Daniel. "You need a new wing man," she called back.

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Daniel threatened in her face.

Vala wiggled her hips in reply. "Promises. Promises."

The End


End file.
